Dating someone with cavities

Happy New Year, Awkwardtown! I apologize to RSS readers- this post prematurely went up before I was done with it. This week marks the 1 year anniversary of this blog January 4th! The readers and commenters contribute so much to the community here. Thanks to you we have one of the best commentspaces on the Internet, and letter writers dwting always depend on you to support them and help them out. I really enjoy your blog and the comments.

Woman Man

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Woman Man

I really enjoy your blog and the comments. Once I found your blog I took a couple weeks to read through your old questions, some of them were very relevant to my issues. Years of neglect while playing video games and being lazy have screwed me up.

Most women want a confident man that is a good kisser, and I am neither of those. It looks bad in pictures, too. What about kissing, is that not important in an intimate relationship? I did say all that stuff, so, sorry: Your teeth might be a dealbreaker for me in feeling attracted to you.

But in faux-comforting news, the dealbreaker might be something else entirely! My fat body is a dealbreaker for many people. They will not be attracted to me because how I look. Or it might be something else, like how I always think of the worst possible thing to say for any occasion and many times my filter does not catch these things before I say them out loud. Everyone has something about themselves that might be a dealbreaker for someone else in becoming attracted to them.

Everyone is self-conscious about something. To be human is to be imperfect. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. You get to reject people and they get to reject you as dating partners for any reason at any time. You are going to not going to connect with many people. I used to go on a lot of dates with strangers. For example:. I once met a guy who had seven cats. No second date. Never say never! Want to tell me about how you love Ron Paul or your favorite book is Atlas Shrugged?

Sorry, my vagina just sewed itself shut. You shall not pass. Your profile lists 10, supercool books, bands, and movies and all of it was made by white men? Bored now. You live in a place not reachable by public transit? How can we date, since I am never going there?

No way, Jose. For a handful of people I will be just what they want, and they will be just what I want, and who cares about the rest?

What we should also understand, in the name of complete honesty: If you scrape the surface, many dealbreakers stink of sexism, size-ism, classism, able-ism, and racism. As a straight white woman, I get more messages from suitors than others might. Someone who rejects your bad teeth is rejecting your history of depression and the resulting poverty or lack of self-care.

In fact, someone who tries to argue me into liking him has inadvertently discovered one of my dealbreakers. Everyone talks about having confidence in dating. People like confidence. It feels like a trap. Maybe think of it as less about having or faking confidence and more about not projecting your insecurities all over other people in an icky way. The way I see it, people might find my fat body unattractive, but they will find me unattractive if I make it a giant issue of it and blame it for everything that is wrong.

So when I take this fat ass out on a date, I drive it like I fucking stole it. I make zero apologies for it. The world is full of people who will tell me I have the wrong kind of body and tell me I should hate myself for it, why should I help them with their work? Is he as cool as Commander Logic? Dumb, awesome luck, and the exception rather than the rule.

If I sat there the whole night worried about my fatness? The guy would not like me at least partly because I would be a bad date for wallowing in my insecurities instead of connecting with him. While I do want you to take care of your teeth to the extent that you can now floss, brush, use a tongue-scraper, mints, mouthwash and seek professional care as soon as you can, I vote that you take those mossy Shane McGowan teeth of yours out on the town.

You might as well try smiling when you feel like smiling and generally not giving a fuck. Thanks in advance for any kind support you can offer. I just want to add that the confidence thing was confusing for me as well. I try to think about it as letting my personality shine out. Despite your physical anxieties, there is a personality inside you that someone out there finds compelling.

If you live anywhere a university dental school, you can get practically everything done at a very modest price. I had quite a bit of work done at the NYU dental school years ago. Getting to work on your teeth is very important for your health. Low-grade infections in your mouth cause lots of problems in the rest of your body in addition to making you feel terrible all the time.

And decayed teeth are so uncomfortable and smell bad. Take care of yourself. The Captain is totally right, as usual, on the dating front. Unfortunately, here in the U. In the near future I am facing either tons of really expensive dental work or possibly not being employable if I should lose my current job. You go to dinner with the teeth that you have, not the teeth you might want or wish to have at a later time. The wondering is way worse than the knowing. My best kiss with someone has never been my first kiss with someone.

Yes, good stuff. I am now working my way through those articles. Lots of good answers and comments. I went on a couple of dates with a guy, and I was feeling it more than he was. Trust me. You will date other people. Love yourself, take care of yourself, and people will notice you have a passion for life. And passion?

I went through this a few years back. And my ex was just an asshole who exerts power over people by whittling away at their self-esteem. Hi LW — I just want to comment to you as a woman with pretty crooked and messed up teeth. But you know what? Best wishes to you, LW. Things that are bad about that from my perspective are: listening to him complain about tooth pain but never go to the dentist, and worrying about stuff like heart health and other health matters that tooth decay might affect.

Things that are not bad about that: everything else. We are where we are. The kissing thing, though. That is important in dating, I think, although I suspect the LW would be better off approaching it as a skill to be mastered and not something that takes him out of the dating scene entirely. Would it be weird to just tell dates that, I wonder?

Good luck! Seconding the advice on kissing. By the time I was in college I had kissed all of… no one. When the time came to get my first kiss in I just took cues from the guy I was kissing. See what the other person seems to enjoy and try to go with the flow. Kissing is a learned skill and something you have to relearn a little with each new person. So enjoy the learning curve! Thanks for the answer, and everyone for the comments. Happy new year and blog anniversary! If you need to go back and make any changes, you can always do so by going to our Privacy Policy page.

Skip directly to site content Skip directly to page options Skip directly to A-Z link. Oral Health. Section Navigation. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Syndicate. Minus Related Pages. Cavities, also called tooth decay, are one of the greatest unmet health treatment needs.

Untreated cavities can lead to abscess a severe infection under the gums which can spread to other parts of the body and have serious, and in rare cases fatal, results. See All. Other Fast Fact Topics. Related Links. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Vital signs: dental sealant use and untreated tooth decay among US school-aged children.

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Woman Man

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